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Funny little sayings June 19, 2008

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
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   From time to time I may say something at a certain situation that may surprise someone around me be it just plain bad sounding or outrageously funny.

   Truth be known most of them are a result of I overheard it over the years or in some cases it may be something I said from just thin air.

   What I’ll do is this as I remember them.. I’ll write the saying, what it means and whom may be responsible for saying it or otherwise warping my mind like it is today.

   So with that said i’ll start off with some right now….

 “Jam up and Jelly tight”  This little phrase normally will bring a wrinkled forehead as those around are wondering what it means. This saying is used when things are just right. Say your making a pot of soup and you take a taste of it and its just right, One would say thats “jam up and jelly tight” credit for this one goes to my Mema God rest her soul.

  “F_ck the chickens” this is a good saying if you were to try and take a lighter side of something going wrong. Lets say you just dropped a bunch of papers out of your arms. One would look at the mess and instead of getting all upset just say out loud “well F_ck the chickens” Believe me it always makes me feel a lot less agitated.

 “Well I’ll be Dad Blamed” A good friend of mine brought to my attention that when I use that saying it appears I’m just throwing in some words to make it look like I’m really listening and interested in what one’s saying, but in truth I’m nowhere in sight as I have that look in my eyes I’m somewhere else. You know after thinking about it, She’s right. I’ll give myself credit for that one. Not the words themselves, but what they really mean.

     “Tighter than Dick’s hat band” Even though he’s not the originator of this clever little saying, I give my late Uncle Paul credit for this one. I use it all the time and normally get a strange little amused look when saying it. I need not really get into the meaning but I’ll use it in a sentence anyway. “That ring was tighter than Dick’s hat band on my finger” . Heck I made myself smile by just typing it. I miss you Uncle Paul!

   Shot at and missed, Shit at and hit! this comes as  saying that defines how one feels after working his ass off all day and is tired. One will be asked how they are doing and they will respond with ” I feel like I’ve been shot at and missed Shit at and hit” I’ll credit this to all working blue collar workers in the deep south.

  F_ck me running… I have heard it before, but I have a friend I’ll call CC that has a cute little accent, and when she has said it in the past it was so cute.

  It is what it is.. My current favorite saying. When I say that it really sums up that theres no room for discussion.

  Whats that got to do with the price of tea in china… One of my other favorites meaning what the hell does that have to do with what were discussing now.

   IF? If that Dog had’nt beat me over the fence to your mom, I’d be your dad right now… I love saying that when someone hinges a statement on the word “If” case in example… “If I was there right now things would be different”.

   I know there are plenty more, but I felt I wanted to get this one off my “saved drafts” and in print. I also wanted to take the time to say Thank You to some of my friends that have read and commented to me either by comments on here or email or an old fashioned phone call. It makes me feel good I actually have a few people that care enough to read my banter.


Some Gave All and All Gave Some June 11, 2008

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
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       I parked my F150 pickup amongst all the other 4×4’s in the parking lot on a dark night in Plant City Florida. I walked past the crowd gathered outside the building. There were a lot of young unfamiliar faces yet a lot of faces I recognized from many a day gone by. Some greeted me with a hello or a handshake while others just looked sorrowfull and bowed their heads.

  I walked through the doors and made my way to the main room where everything was happening. It was mostly quiet in here, a little background noise but nothing to measure much by. I walked to the front of the room and there standing in front of me were 2 of the largest looking young men imaginable one on each side of the “guest of honor” These young men had no real expression on their faces almost like they were wearing stone masks.

    The “guest of honor” himself had a peaceful look on his face. He was in a much more happier place. Ladies and Gentlemen I was attending the funeral wake for a young soldier killed with 2 other marines on December 23, 2004. His name…Lance Corporal James R Phillips.

   The two guards with the bills of their dress hats pulled low and shadowing their eyes had a very soboring effect on me. In these larger than life looking young men had a look they needed not a weapon to carry out their assigned tasks in combat and also made me very proud to be an american. They had no smiles on their faces in fact they had no expression whatsoever.

    Jamie layed their in his dress uniform, a handsome 21 year old man that had paid the ultimate price for something some of us take so much for granted, FREEDOM…

    The sad thing is these three young men killed on that morning were not even on a seek and destroy mission, they were on a fact finding mission. They were doing their duties protecting the inhabitants of this far away country from the evil that lived there.

   I approach Mike Phillips, Jamie’s father and see him with tears in his eyes.  I stand in front of him and tell him Mike you have every right to be upset but I will say this in front of GOD and everyone in this room “Your Son Is A Hero” He died for yours, mine, and everyone in this country’s freedom!

    To this day I don’t know if Mike heard my words as he was way off in another part of the world. I’m sure wishing he could meet up face to face with the no good bastards that took his only son’s life. This I can be sure of, How let me fill you in some.

   First of all I have known Mike Phillips since 1977. Mike sat in front of me in consumer math at Plant City High School. Neither of us had a grip on the class and definately both disliked the teacher. So most days we’d resort to chit chatting about our old Chevy Pickups we had and all the stuff high school boys talk about. Funny we talked about chevy’s as for the past 20 years weve been hard core ford fanatics.

   I had pretty much lost touch of most if not all of my old high school buddies in the years that passed and in 2002 I moved back to my home town. Moving on to Roebuck Road. To get to my place I had to drive right in front of Mike and his wife Lisa’s house. Most days Mike would hop in his pickup and come down to my house a few minutes after my arrival. We’d sit outside and talk over things or he’d have a list of things he needed for an automotive project.

   The last project Mike and I worked on was items he needed for Jamie’s 1965 Mustang they had bought almost sight unseen. Jamie had called home and told his dad that he’d be coming home on leave for a short while and he wanted a nice car he could fix up and drive to the Plant City car shows and one he could be exceptionally proud of. Mike was seen around asking about nice cars not just any beaters but something nice his son could start off with and be proud of. Money was not a big object just as long as it was nice.

  After a short time he had settled on a poppy red one just south of where we lived. Mike had sent Jamie pictures of the car and Jamie was very excited at the opportunity of owning such a nice car. Mike wanted to go one step further and put together a good running engine for it something that would get out of its on way. Something he felt could blow the doors off my old falcon that I then cherished as my personal hot rod.

    After landing the deal and getting the monies in hand Mike started going all out, he searched for an enclosed trailer to transport their beauty home so as to make sure no rock chips from the interstate found their way to the beautiful finish on their pride and joy.

   Soon Jamie made it home. To fill you in a little bit on this youngster I have to admit what I’m about to write is 100% hearsay up until the time I first met him.

  I was told Mike had no longer had the joy of eating anything in the Phillip’s household if it had onions in it as Jamie didn’t care for them and since childhood onions had been pretty much removed from the menu when Jamie was present. I was told Jamie pretty much got his way on everything as he was the only son and Mother made sure he was the number 1 on anything and everything.

   Like I said all that was strictly hearsay and I have no proof or documentation as to the authenticity of any of the affore mentioned. The main reason I even brought it up was to set up whT I actually witnessed upon meeting young Jamie for the first time.

   I have to warn you I was completely amazed at how kids are these days by my first meeting of Jamie.

  Before I go on and say this please understand that I have to tell the truth and cannot in anyway sway away from the truth and will not do so even though this poor lad is now in the great beyond.

  Jamie totally shocked me with himself! What I witnessed was a total gentleman that I feel any father would proudly introduce his daughter to. The first time I stopped by with my stepdaughter Courtney, he was very polite, he shook my hand as a true southern gentleman would and acknowledged Courtney with total respect. He did all the things a man would be proud his son would do. He answered our question politely and referred to us around him as “sir” as in Jamie its very nice outside today and his response would be like “Yes sir, it is nice”

  One of the few times he had to come down to my place for something it was also sir once again. I assured him he need not be so formal but he “had it in him” he was just as we had all been growing up in our small farm town.

   Did he run around with his boxers showing over the belt line of his jeans? No Sir he did not. He was dressed as any normal 21 year old boy should of been. He had a very close shaven haircut, ala Marine, and he had the discipline to match as well.

    Need I say more? Lord why you took such a great little man from us, let alone his poor momma and daddy is beyond me. But we should all rest assure someday soon we’ll all be present with him and be able to feel the respect he dished out freely.

   Yes I was all choked up seeing this young lad lying there at peace in his flag draped coffin, but proud I was as well. I felt a great loss for such a young “GOOD” boy being taken away so soon, yet I know no way no how was his respect and dignity stripped from him as well.

   Lord I plead that the cowards that took the lives of these young men be dealt with severly and hope that maybe somehow you already have done so.

  Lance Corporal James R Phillips go rest in the lord and by all means REST IN PEACE……


When Love is True June 5, 2008

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
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    Lately I have been very slack about writing but wait I have a good excuse! Weve been busy playing home remodeler..Yeah thats it… You see Maria had this beautiful house built in 1941 and it just sat in disrepair basically going to hell in a handbasket. Well we showed it a thing or two. Now all the walls are sanded filled and painted along with a new central air and heat system and newly refinished oak hardwood floors circa 1941.

     But hold on..This post has nothing to do with the house, I was merely explaining why I havent been on much. What I want to write about is the meaning of true unconditional love. One that loves you no matter what or if happens. One that will love you till the end.

    By now many are wondering whom it could be that holds so much devotion for a being.

  Maybe it should be more of “it”

   I am talking about “little man” Milton to those in the know.. My little Jack Russel Terrier. He and I have been together since he was 5 weeks old. Weve been through a lot.

  Tomorrow, lords willing, I’ll completely finish reading a book by John Grogan titled “Marley & Me”   This book starts off telling the story of John and his wife Jenny buying their first dog together. A golden lab and they name him Marley. To be perfectly honest I started to get bored after the first 50 or so pages reading it, but with the job I have presently I sometimes have some time on my hands. So I have read through it thick and thin.

    Over time Marley does what everyone that owns a dog witnesses, Grows old. He starts to lose the zest and zip he once had, but God the old dog keeps trying. He’s forever John’s sidekick. Milton does the same with me. I can remember when he and I shared a small apartment in Charlotte, Milton would push the bathroom door open every morning and come jump in my lap as I sat on the throne. He just wanted to be close to his dad. To this day he still wants to lean against me just touch me in some way to know I’m here. Even as I write this he’s laying under my office chair knawing on his plastic Hartz meat flavored bone his momma bought him with atleast 2 parts of his body touching my feet. He dragged his wool bed cover in the room and is laying on it just wanting to be close to his dad.

  In the book, John constantly refers to Marley as the world’s worst dog as he has problems behaving and following most orders, but deep down John loves Marley, but he forgets to do one important thing… To tell Marley he does. until the bitter end when Marley can no longer get up or open his eyes and is about to be put down. John puts his forehead against Marley’s and tries to connect with him spirtually and hopes he understands. Truth be known dog’s know we masters love them, But it never hurts to reiterate that to them constantly. I know personally i have on several occasions left Milton behind for a trip or to simply go to work and before I left the apartment yelled at him because I was upset. I get down the road a ways and turn around just to come back and apologize to him. Even though I have maybe been gone 10 minutes or so, when I come through that door he’s all smiles and wagging his short little tail all happy to see me, forgetting all about things.

   When that day comes for my little prince there are a few things I hope for. One that there really is a “Doggie Heaven” and that its connected to my heaven and were together in eternity. Another that when Milton goes there that theres no thunder or loud noises to scare him but only a meadow filled with squeaky toys and refrigerators for him to nudge then under and he try his best to retrieve. And the main one I truly hope I am the one to go first so I can be awaiting his arrival as if he were to leave me now I don’t know how I could stand living without my best friend.

  One good point that John Grogan makes is this, Most of us will all at one point in our life have a dog. Many in some cases, but theres always that “One” that will stand out and be different. I own that one now.

 Now I’d like everyone that may stumble upon this blog to please go hug your pooch and look them in their eyes and tell em you love em.

 I’m going to now…