jump to navigation

2 New Great Friends November 18, 2007

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
add a comment

   Weve all heard the stories about the person that kills over in a restaurant and the room could be full of doctors yet none respond for fear of a malpractice suit…Right?

   Okay here goes…..Anyone hear that incredibly funny story about the guy that goes to a soon to be wed party and after a few hours for some reason (probably a diabetes issue) just falls out… Yeah its a real hoot!! he’s just standing there and WADDA!!! he’s on the floor banging the &^%$#@(*&!!! out of the back of his head as it bounces off the hardwood floor, (like taking a Louisville slugger to the back of the skull I’d say)…

    Did it happen??? Dang right it did! Was it embarassing? You Know It! I wanted to go crawl under the couch out of shear embarassment.. Oh I forgot, It happened to me! Was I drunk? NO! Yes I had consumed one Appletini when we first arrived last night, but that was at 8:15. Afterwards I ate dinner and consumed a glass of diet coke followed by a glass of water and right before this little episode I had drank half a glass of diet coke again.

   There I was standing in a room full of newly aquainted friends over the past few months from our church. “The young crowd” all of us in our 30’s and 40’s.

  Maria my lovely bride to be standing just a foot or so away from me taking pictures of her friends for her Myspace page. Me leaning against an upright ranging from the floor to the ceiling.

  I started getting that all over warm feeling inside and the lights around me seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer. The music playing started to sound slurred along with my vision. My legs started feeling weaker by the millisecond and all of a sudden everything started to be replaced by that white noise sound you get when out in total silence (know which one I’m talking about) its like all of a sudden just a quaint buzz in your ears maybe a high pitch whine. I was all by myself I felt. I thought Hang on ol’ buddy you can make it. Just hold on with your hand behind you to that trusty upright.

  I wanted to tell Maria so badly that I felt that it could be the end for this ol’ boy. I just couldn’t say a word. It was like I was paralyzed.

   Next thing I knew I was feeling the sharp pain of a whack to the back of my noggin. The next thing I know I hear voices all of a sudden telling me to just lay still. It was like I felt I had died for a moment and their voices were drawing back into my body. I just layed there for a moment and I wanted up but had no energy in my body.

   My future brother in law told me later on the phone what he saw happen. Paul said it was like I hit the floor like a ton of bricks, and I just layed there for a moment all stretched out striaght. I hit my neck on an upright brace and then my head bounced off the floor. Then as quick as nothing I just sat straight up sort of like the undertaker on WWF he said.

   Two saints Dr. George Demetri and Dr. Steve (sorry I just met this saint and cannot remember his last name as of yet) were right there upon me within seconds. George (looks incredibly like Steve Martin and has the personality of one of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet) was asking me to just lay still. Dr. Steve was helping me up as I was insisting on getting upright.

     These guys got me into a chair so I could regain some of my composure. Checking my pulse and telling me to please take it easy as I had hardly any pulse at the time. Next thing I know Dr. George had a cup of orange juice for me to consume as I had no color in my face. I was wondering where everyone had went, tonight I found out the many hostesses had ushered them all back so I would not be so embarassed, Bless Their Hearts! The two doctors worked hard asking me personal questions trying to assess my problem. All the time telling me it was okay and saying it happens to them all the time. Bless their hearts too!

   After they saw my pulse come back somewhat I told them I just wanted to go home. Maria got our things together and we made it back out to the pick up to leave. All night she kept a watchful eye on me waking me up every hour to check on me and make sure I was okay.

   So did I gain anything through this? I try and learn something new everyday you know…Yes I truely go to church with a bunch of loving wonderful people I am glad to call my friends……



While I’m on the subject November 14, 2007

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
add a comment

   Oh by the way I almost forgot about something I had mentioned while writing my last rant…

  What is it with all these people driving around with Video screens for the kids to watch?

  Let me tell you what, My parents raised 5 kids all of us within 8 years apart and did we have some gas swilling SUV with video screens in it? I’d say not!!

  Our largest family car ever was a 67 plymouth fury III station wagon and that wasn’t for long as the transmission went south in it and my parents couldn’t afford one for it back then. Our next larger car was a hand me down 1968 chevrolet biscayne station wagon. My parents drove that one till it was deemed unsafe from having the whole front end wore out in it. Most of the time our family car was a 4 door sedan. And yes we made a many a trip places in them. No tv’s no personal radios, no video games…You ask what did our parents use to entertain us and keep us quiet (most of the time) Entertainment was via conversation between us or on long trips games of “I SPY” or “counting out of state plates.

   Keeping us quiet was the promise of our butts glowing red from a spanking if we acted up. Yes my parents definately made good on those too… I guess these days you can’t dish those out like they used to.

   The other day I was behind a sedan that had such a large screen hanging down playing a video that had I not had to try extra careful I could of easily of rearended as the screen was as big as most people’s televisions in their homes. It would of been so easy to start watching it instead of the tail lights on the car.

  Let me tell you one thing, If I were a policeman I’d definately have to pull someone over on that one…..

  These days we tend to “band aid” problems in our relationships. If the children are being unrulely and noisy, maybe we need to take the time and talk with them to see if we can find out whats going on instead of just popping a video in and shutting them out……

The Era of Fads November 13, 2007

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

     A few days ago I was walking through Walmart and saw some of those annoying shoes you see the kids these days wearing. You know the ones…those infernal shoes with the wheels built into the soles.

     The ones that you wonder if maybe a bone doctor designed to promote broken legs if the slip down or some other fracture that’ll bring the customer in for some repair work on their skeleton some time soon.

     Looking and thinking of this made me stop and think about all the fads I as a kid up until later in life wanted to be in on. And also how my elders probably thought “whats wrong with that youngun’s mind as well”.

   Just today I was near about ran over by some crazy girl in the local walmart on some of those bone breaker shoes. The heck of it is a few different views I think.

   First of all parents see these kids rolling all over hell’s half acre and near missing innocent people like myself. Do they say “Hey lil sally or lil leroy get over here before you hurt someone”??? Heck No, they look at you like “can’t you see my younguns’ trying to break his or her neck! Now get out of their way!!”

    I also wonder, if they were in a store and some poor soul spilled like a wheelbarrow of marbles on the floor, and their poor little hooligan kids went to sliding through on them, Heck the first thing they’d be doing is dialing up their lawyer on speed dial. Mom would be thinking about that much wanted SUV to haul the little brats around in (not to mention with the latest big screen monitor hanging from the roof keeping the little tykes busy) I’ll get to that one in a bit. Or daddy thinking about that new bass boat he desires.

    Yeah let it be an act of a mistake or whatever and the parents are like OH MY GOD DON”T LET LITTLE JOHNNY OR SUSIE SLIP ON THOSE DREADFUL MARBLES!!!!! But take an invention like a pair of shoes and put the same effect on them as loose marbles, and lets not forget to charge two arms and a leg for em, and they’ll sell like hotcakes.

   Okay nuff said on to the era of fads from childhood on…..

    1. the earliest one I can recollect was when my twin sis and I was about 4 or 5 years old we just had to have one of those plastic engines for our tricycle that had a key switch on the handlebar that when turned it made the engine sound like a motorcycle.

   I can remember chasing our grandaddy up the road as he left for work begging him to bring us home a motor and key for our tricycles. Did we ever get it? No as I’m not really sure he ever knew what we were talking about.

   2. what we called “Florida Clackers” no telling what they were called elsewhere. What they consisted of was 2 solid glasslike balls a little larger than a golfball each on the end of a string. You held the string in the middle letting the balls dangle down and started in an up and down motion making the balls swing up and down until they hit each other and getting them going faster and faster till it was a display of blur and the balls were making such a noise. Till this day its a wonder no one was killed by those things or that the glass didn’t explode upon contact. Good heavens.

  3. All the cool guys in high school had to have atleast an FM converter on their car’s am radio or an 8 track stereo. Yeah 8 tracks were cool as long as it didn’t have to switch channels in the middle of a cool song. I can remember one for sure was the song “Long Time” from Boston it would be like right at a guitar rift and all of a sudden it would go like Cachunk Cachunk! and all of a suddent the music would fade back into the song….Real Cheesey say the least!

  3. While were on the subject of car audio lets not forget the Holy Grail of coolness…Sparkomatic Mind Blower speaker system…Okay your like what? keep in mind to remember these you have to be a minimum age of 40 or had a brother, or sister. who had them in their car. These little jewels were not cheap in the day’s standards with a system of two amplified speakers and a cool panel switch costing upwards of a hundred plus dollars. But keep in mind you had to allow the amps time to warm up before blasting them and after letting it warm up you could blow away most all competition around you in the noise categorie. We used to crank em up during intermission at the drive in and have it so loud (and not distorted) that most would either blow their horns in submission or just move away from you. If you were still saving for a set or just couldn’t budget it in you’d just go and buy a power amp for under the dash. In that field the cool ones were the Kraco ones with the blue face that put out a solid 40 watts.

   4. staying just for one more car fad… flipping the aircleaner lid upside down on an otherwise quiet car. That alone would make any 4 door grandpa car sound atleast like it had a four barrel carburetor not to mention the police interceptor sound as you stomped on the gas pedal.

   5. Wearing your jacket with a button down collared shirt that had the shirt collar on the outside. Yes the old leisure suit look. My friend Les from high school would never admit to this fad, but trust me he even did it. It didn’t matter if it was a jean jacket or some Gucci leather coat it still looked cool back in the day.

   6. still on clothing T-shirts with heat transfers on them.Yup I had about a million of em. They weren’t too cool if it was warm outside as the transfer seemed to want to cling to your skin.

    7. T shirts from Lightning Bolt, they were like some of the first “Cult like” type clothing I can remember. These shirts would have maybe a picture on them of a dude surfing like he was in California or Hawaii and it night say something like “Lightning Bolt a Pure Source” By todays standards we’d all be saying what the hecks that supposed to mean?

  8. Converse All Stars, when I was young I wore something similiar called Redball Jets that swore I could run faster and jump higher. Then they went away and the same came out with nothing on them and they were available at the grocery store in low tops only. We called those “Hotboxers” or welfare shoes. You were dang near doomed if your mom bought your shoes on a trip to the grocery store.

   In early highschool thank God Converse started making “Chuck Taylor’s” or “Chucks” as we called them. Then they were available in a good amount of colors instead of just white or black. At our highschool orange were the hot dog color with what we called “parachute strings” meaning colored strings. If you were going to be cool you’d need a pair of orange shoes with the white and a pair of aqua strings added and with that you had our school colors. Now I’ll also be the first to tell you, some years later my poor Mema bought a pair of white “Chucks” for me at the dollar store, and I wore them proudly. I always used to wonder why my feet were so tired after wearing them. One day I noticed the reason they had been at the dollar store was the shoes were 2 left shoes. No wonder they hurt so badly.

  9. Later on came Kangaroos or “Roos” for short. These came about in the early 80’s. These were some cool shoes sometimes made of corduroy material or maybe like brushed leather with nylon and each pair had either a zippered or a velcro pouch on them. You could keep all kinds of things in these little pockets depending upon your age. Maybe lunch money or bus fare or if you were dating maybe something else. Who’d ever think of searching there right?

10. I’ll stop at 10 but I’d say the last but not least would be those nylon bicycle shorts. Yes I had a pair and theres a whole other embarassing story about them on my end. But they were cool in their time I’m sure. If I have missed anything please email me or comment back and let me know. Maybe make it a comment that way I can see if anyone even reads this stuff….

 Till then “Over and Out from a Simple Man”…

A tale of romance November 8, 2007

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
add a comment

   Sometimes from time to time I am going to write some stories of fiction some real..which ones? Thats for you to decide.

   John was living the life of a badly bruised existence. His life had taken on such a lackluster that it was almost too unbearable at times to think about. Sure he had friends yet they too had their own lives to live and while they had an ear at times to listen to John’s problems they never seemed to have any advice to help poor John through his problems.

    John had a lot of things going on in his life to keep him busy enough, a demanding job which he was good at what he did and seemed to excell in all of it even though he lacked in a higher education above high school. But the one thing missing from his life was true romantic bliss he felt. He spent a good portion of years wishing he had just that. Instead he merely worked hard all day and came home to an empty home of love and toyed with his many projects of interest and at night would spray one of his bed pillows with sweet perfume imagining he was slipping off to slumber with someone that loved him so.

    One day at work John was online and met a fellow employee far away and sparked a friendship that seemed so new and fresh. They would find themselves chatting for hours at a time both before and after work. All the day leaving little emails to bring a brightness to their day.

    This fellow coworker, her name was Jenny seemed to be in the same situation as  John seemed to be. She felt unloved in so many ways yet when speaking with John she found herself in another land so far away and on John’s end he felt exactly the same way.

    These two toyed around with thier feelings secretly and one saturday afternoon Jenny felt she could not hold out any longer and sent John a quick message across the email lines saying she loved him so. On her way home she felt she could not go all weekend wondering how John felt about seeing this and called him to say she hoped he had a good weekend. As she was on the phone with him she felt as if she were standing on egg shells waiting to see if he had indeed read her message and what his reaction would be.

    After making small talk for a while John brought up the message and to Jenny’s delight he responded well and said Yes he too felt the same for Jenny as well. What  relief she felt upon hearing this. On Johns end he felt a relief that someone actually out there in the world could love him as well. Soon he found himself with a new bounce in his step and walking on what seemed like a cloud. He went from being a lonely guy to actually feeling self worth for a change. He felt he’d found someone to actually share his feelings and desires with. Almost like a young boy feels when dating a girl on the same school bus as he. They could sit for hours and talk and not really felt like they had talked at all. There was so much these two could speak about and when doing so the clock would run so quickly.

    After so many months of talking about things the pair found they wanted to meet face to face. Jenny flew in to the local airport, John saw a glimpse of her and felt there was no way he could just sit there and look right at her for fear she may turn around and run right back onto the very plane she had just gotten off of. Jenny walked right up to John and stood there looking right at him. He slowly turned to focus his eyes on what was the most prettiest girl he had ever seen to that date. She stood there smiling and wrapped her arms around him and gave him such a kiss. John found himself at a complete loss for words at that point.

   The couple walked down to the car and made their way to a place to get to know each other better. After a long car drive to the town so far away, John took Jenny to her room he had picked out for her. She made her way back to get her luggage but he stopped her before and told her to just take it easy as he had it under control.

   Upon returning with Jenny’s luggage she was standing at the foot of her bed and placed the most lovingest kiss on his lips he had ever recieved. He found his head spinning and felt all giddy inside.

    The two collapsed on the bed and kissed for what seemed like hours. After a long time past John got up and saw it was right at dusk and the couple went to find a place in town to have a nice romantic dinner. They found a nice chinese diner with all of 2 people dining in and they were almost finished at that. The couple sat down and shared a bottle of wine while casually ordering and dining that evening.

    After sitting and enjoying each other’s company for two and a half hours they left to go find another bottle of wine. Upon finding a liquor store the pair bought their wine of choice and a bag of ice.

    That night the couple shared the wine with the bag of ice on the floor and the wine on top of it chilling. John and Jenny made history that night making such passionate love until the two went to sleep in each other’s arms.

    The next morning the couple was awakened by a knocking on the door. It was the hotel maintenance man wanting to check their room for a leak. The couple quickly dashed for something to wear. While the maintenance man waited outside Jenny noticed the bag of ice, (now water) laying on the floor. Upon getting rid of it the maintenance man was back out the door scratching his head wondering where on earth the leak was coming from still. John  and Jenny both shared a laugh about that one.

   After getting dressed the two decided to go for breakfast once arriving at the restaraunt for breakfast John see’s a field of wild flowers and wades his way through a water puddle to pick some for Jenny.  After eating they make their way to the beach. The weekend they were there was a bike weekend as their were thousands of motorcycles out riding around. Most would be intimidated by so much going on, but this couple paid no attention to the surroundings but just spent a glorious day just the two of them.

    That evening they stop by a local grocery store and buy the items to make breakfast the next morning themselves. That night they once again make love and fall asleep in each others arms.

    The next morningh is a sad one for the pair as Jenny has to hop a flight to go back to her part of the world. They slowly make it back to the airport and John walks Jenny to the spot that only a couple of days earlier the happiest moment of his entire life had taken place. He keeps a straight face and kisses Jenny promising to never forget their wonderful weekend together as she promises to never forget John as well. He kisses her deeply and turns to walk towards the elevator, he’s doing good till he turns to walk Jenny just in time to see her take one last look at him before getting on the plane. John can feel the tears building up in his eyes and makes a dash for the elevator and holds the buttons all the way down to his floor so no one else can get on to see him so upset. No sooner he’s in his car he loses all control of himself and bursts into tears.

    He drives away wondering if he’ll ever see Jenny again. The next day early in the morning he calls her only to hear her sigh in deep relief saying she’s missed him so badly and how deeply in love she has fallen for him.

    They tell all of what happened while apart. Jenny tells him how when she got on the plane she looked so sad and the passenger next to her asks about the single rose in her hand as she’s trembling slightly holding it. Jenny explains she’s had a wonderful weekend and the woman next to her says “You Love Him Don’t You” Jenny answers sweetly “Yes”

    A month goes by and Johnny decides he really needed to see Jenny and she was willing to as well. He made the trip to her home town and once again felt love at first sight. Unfortunately time was very limited for their trip and he was able to see jer for only a few short hours. On his way home John thought over things about the time spent with Jenny both at his hometown and hers. He thought of the long drive to see her and the short time of seeing her. He asked himself over and over again, if given the chance to do so again would he. Each time he would smile and think Yes in a new york minute he would.

   That would be the last time they were face to face and from time to time they would show up in each other’s lives. She’d ask John “why do you treat me so good Johnny” and John would reply “cause your my girl Jenny” thats why.

   Some folks could never understand why and how a relationship/friendship like that could exist…But then again most wouldn’t understand a lot of things in life they felt. Until one lives that life or walks a mile in their shoes they’ll never understand. To love someone this deeply is truely a gift from God all mighty above.

@*&%!!!!! November 5, 2007

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
add a comment

     Taking the advice of a good friend I’m writing a post to try and get over the unemployment blues. She says it really doesn’t have to be a long one or amount to a whole lot, just do it.

   Lets talk about last night, yesterday helping Paul my future brother in law do some painting and move some furniture. Well as clumsy as I am walking backwards carrying like we’ll say a Dresser, it came down once and skinned the living shit out of the top of my right hand big toe…Dammit Man!!!

   So Maria and I arrive back at my apartment at around 9:15ish and have a big mac for dinner. Well I’m not sure if the big mac got me or the unemployment stress got me but I took on one of my famous stomach aches. Let me explain the intensity of these little buggers here. Imagine you’ve got some of the most rippenist wind in you I’m sure (most of us) would excuse yourself to a suitable place to expell the said winds and flatulant air out of our body whether it be in a corner of a room no one in their right mind would follow you to or the bathroom or in the case of some of my buddies maybe a campfire just to see if these things really will light. Okay you get the idea, now back to me. I had all that churning inside of me but since having “the operation” there are times that this gas will not leave me for long periods of time maybe like to the tune of several hours. You get the bloating and feel it moving but hey nothing comes out. Now I know what an overloaded propane cylinder feels like.

    Normally I’ll go lay down maybe in a fetal position or with a pillow pressed against my stomach and either faint from the pain or just fall asleep and after a few hours wake up feeling okay once again.

    Well okay then, now that you know two parts of the evening here’s the third and final chapter of the evening. I awaken about 12:15 and have a serious run for the border feeling and also feel quite clammy from being covered up for a couple of hours as well. I do my business and decide to jump in the shower and rinse off before going back to bed, Stomachs still kicking my ass mind you, I get in the shower and go to adjust the stream of the handheld shower head and bang the little tab that you use your finger to spin it with breaks and immediately stabs me in my left middle finger…Son Of a Bitch that hurt like hell. Also now I’m bleeding like I’m the star of a slasher movie only I’m the slashee. I grab a towel and start looking for band aids. After looking in all places three times over and notice the towel I have my hand wrapped in is starting to look more like crimson than yellow, I call Maria. She comes to the rescue trying to get me to go get stitches, “hey tough guys like me don’t need no stinking stitches I’m crying out” Seriously crying I mean. Like I said it hurt like hell.

  I just try and remember my old saying…….

If we didn’t have bad days we’d never know what good ones were…Now then, If anyone see’s my misplaced good days around somewhere, Tell em I need em badly!!!!!

Is that Boy all there? November 1, 2007

Posted by Glen in Uncategorized.
add a comment

    Hey all, this is yet another true story that at the time of it happening it wasn’t so funny. But looking back on it now I can’t help for laughing about it.

     Back in february 2005 we made the big move to the carolinas. Anyone that knows me well knew that for the past 15 years or so I have wanted to live here. Several attempts were made over the years and like the little boy thats going to jump over a massive water puddle or large ditch I’d back way up and take off at full speed and stop dead right before taking the leap.

    Something would always come up or happen. Once it was just I became “chicken” another time I’d not have the neccesary funds to make it. One time a love interest fell through always something or another it seemed. One time while still married to my ex her daughter (which she and I got along pretty well) told me she wanted to leave and go live with her dad (which had walked out on her mother when she was just a few days old). I was devestated and thought you know her leaving here I didn’t want to come home to where I thought things had been so good and now she’s gone. Not sure if that made sense, but I just felt the place would of been empty without her laughter and whatever else teenagers do these days.

    Anyhow with that I said well you know for years I’ve wanted to move to North Caroline anyway. Sort of my “well with your leaving we can go on and start living better” shot back at the situation.

    After a couple of trips to the Carolinas we decided to wait our time and see what would happen. I remember the day after yet another defeatfull trip and me backing out at the last minute going to a restaraunt back in Brandon FL and seeing all the state flags hanging up in the dining area. I was a teary eyed thinking how I had yet chickened out on things. Still wanting to make the move yet but so happy to be back home, warm and safe.

   I soon realized part of my problem was everytime I had an itch to go north it was always in the dead of winter and just the temp change was enough to put one in shock. With that in mind we started looking again in early fall a year or two later.

   We ended up finding a place in Hemingway South Carolina, not exactly where I wanted to be, but a job offer was there and a house at the right deal came about. It was a small town and I know I’ve posted about it already so i’ll leave the rest up to you to look at if you feel you’d like to.

     We went and first saw our place in October and put our bid in on the house and was immediately accepted. Next time we were up was New Year’s eve to sign on the place.

    So here we were on february 10th, my brother, nephew and myself all loaded up in my F150 with trailer in tow hauling my car lift, and race car for the maiden voyage to leave some personal belongings at the new hacienda in SC. We made it as far as the FL panhandle before my brother woke me up from a slumber to ask what the strange noise was coming from the truck. I first heard nothing, lets say didn’t want to hear anything. It was sure enough something. My fifth gear had started to let go in my transmission. With that we turned around and made a retreat back to Tampa for a look at things. I have to say for Florida that night was colder than a witch’s tittie in a cast iron bra.

   By daybreak the next morning we had pulled into my apartment parking lot. I told my brother to go ahead and take the truck and trailer on to his house and I was going to go grab a few winks and then look for a transmission afterwards.

   I slept till 8am and got up and started calling around finding one soon afterwards. We drove over and got it and then went and put it into the F150 and I went home and regrouped for a tuesday morning run for the border again.

   On sunday Leslie and my brother’s wife Julie went on up and took a load of things up in our mustang. Truth be told the whole trip was to appease Julie as she had yet to go up and see the place as my brother Tommy had. So on Tuesday evening Leslie and Julie returned in time to see us off as we were once again back on the road. This time we made it, leaving on tuesday night and arriving on wednesday mid morning stopping only to grab a bite at the local restaraunt for a quick lunch and back on the boulevard home bound.

    We made it back around midnight on wednesday evening. On thursday morning we started loading up the big box truck we had rented and lanned on finishing loading it all on friday morning and headed out that evening. This time we had all hands on deck being Leslie in the mustang, myself with my neice Glenda riding with me in my F150 and my brother and his 2 sons Richard aka “Ralphie” and his younger son Robert aka “Boogey” riding in the larger truck along with his oldest daughter Sarah’s boyfriend Tim riding with him to help.

   We made our way slowly but surely with the only governing factor being me with a fully loaded pickup giving me very little takeoff power. So we had to let my poor old ford work its way up to speed. 

   Upon arriving, we all took a 3 hour nap before returning back for a second trip leaving Leslie behind to start putting the house in order.

  Originally my nephew was going to move up with us and live there till my brother and the rest of his family made it there. Upon arriving Ralphie got cold feet and wanted to go back to florida. So we had some things in the back of the box truck going back including his shotgun. Tim wanted to ride in the back so he could sleep on the way back as well. Being not enough room or seatbelts for what we already had in the cab I had no objections with his decision at all.

     All was going well till we entered back across the florida state line and I bypassed the agricultural check station. Back in 1997 I used to transport these boxtrucks all over the southeast for a living and not once did we ever have to stop at these stations. I guess since 9/11 things might have changed. I blew by this station at around 2am and here came a brigade of smokeys after me like I was billy the kid or something. Me not paying any mind just kept on going thinking they were on their late night donut run. Well within no time they were on my tail lights a flashing. This was the start of one of those scenes you always think might be rehearsed on the tv show “Cops”.

    I climbed down into the cold air out of the cab of our warm truck to hear “Did I tell you to get out of the fucking cab” I stood there in amazement that a peace officer was talking to me in that manner. truth be known I didn’t want him to see how many passengers was actually residing in the cab. (like I said this was the true to life makings of a “cops” episode)  I responded with a “well I don’t make it a habit to get pulled over so I lost my script to the play officer” ( I’m not normally a smartass to the police, but his language really set me off) He responded walk backwards to me with your hands behind your head. I did so as I was told. Upon getting close to them he grabbed me and searched me for weapons. He then turned me to him and pointed a laminated card in front of me that had a copy of the sign stating “all trucks must enter the ag station” He said these words were on  sign back there and they’re 12″ high so I know you saw it. I stated that I had not paid attention to it and have never stopped for one in the past. Keep in mind in my days of transporting these trucks it was not uncommon for there to be as many as 30 of us in a convoy so I’m sure we stuck out then so why pick on a single truck.

    The officer (yelling still) said I don’t care what you’ve got away with before, this is now. I said okay, he went on to question me about the car trailer on the back of my truck with no license plate on it. I explained I had to borrow that one as my own trailer did not fit the ball on our rented truck and I had been pulling another trailer behind my own pickup and was returning this one back to FL. By this time the officer had calmed down some and I could feel my knees start to knock in the cold weather and the fact I had a pair of thin sweat pants on. I believe this made the cop feel as if maybe I was scared and he might be the one making me feel that way. Truth be known I was freezing my ass off at that moment.

    He asked what do you have in the bed of this boxtruck? I explained how my nephew was planning on moving with me and had backed out and his belongings were in there. He asked do you have any firearms on you? I said not on me but theres a 12 gauge shotgun in the back of the truck were driving. He said well then were going to have to look. I thought I hope dumb ass is sleeping hard back there and doesn’t create a disturbance as I figured if he made a move and was discovered I’d go to jail for sure for allowing someone to ride back there.

    No sooner we had the door opened, like clockwork Tim sat straight up like Dracula rising up in his coffin. all the cops went crazy grabbing their weapons pointing them in Tim’s direction. He goofy like just stared at them. Personally I’d had soiled my drawers if in his shoes.

   Immediately Tim was ordered to walk backwards, that was easy enough…right? not so in Tim’s world. After several commands the fuzz decided he was harmless as long as he walked in their direction with his hands up. The head policeman looked at me and with a funny look on his face asked me “that boys not all there is he” I said no not at all. I let him know Tim was totally harmless.

    After talking with Tim and asking for ID he produced not one but three different social security cards with different names on each. The police man asked him his reasoning behind that. tim told them he had been adopted 3 different times in his 17 years and was taken back twice.

    After some investigation the policeman found Tim had a warrant for a failure to appear in court over a petty theft. That didn’t upset him as much as when he found out Tim was a minor. He asked me “why didn’t you tell me this boy was a minor” I explained he had not inquired with me to that fact. ( I didn’t know it either) He then started complaining how far he was going to have to drive just to book Tim on his offense. He went on to tell me had he known Tim was a minor he’d not had even questioned him any.

    All in all Tim got hauled in and we got off of all of this with a warning. Arriving back in florida the most upset in all this was Sarah my brother’s oldest daughter and Tim’s girlfriend.

    Tim was eventually released a couple of weeks later and as of now were not sure where he may be these days.

   My move was definately the biggest undertaking I had done at that point in time and I hope thats the last big move I’m involved in for quite some time.